Return, March 24, 2017 – Post 3
Lent is hard; I’ll just start by saying that.
I entered into my spring break excited to have time away from school to relax and get caught up. This semester has been so incredibly busy, so the idea of a week of sleeping in, not attending class, and spending time with family was enough to make me jump up and down. But it was also enough to make me forget some of my Lenten obligations.
During the week long break, I failed to spend 30 minutes in prayer…repeatedly. Until, next thing I knew, I was back up at school and had neglected to pray for 7 days straight. Which, to some, might seem like no big deal. After all, until a couple of months ago, not praying, or at least not intentionally setting time aside for prayer, was a daily occurrence. But now, because I’ve experienced the fruit that comes with daily prayer, missing out on that prayer for 7 days left a mark.
I returned back to school tired, self-conscious, stressed, and irritable. The first three days back I was overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to get done, and was finding it difficult to find joy in little things. I was missing the peace and love that is experienced when engaging in intentional, daily prayer.
Last night, I went to the adoration chapel for the first time in almost two weeks. And I made a big request of God, especially for someone who had been neglecting to spend time with Him. I asked Him to reveal Himself to me in a real and tangible way. I asked Him to speak into the loneliness and stress I had been experiencing and give me peace.
Honestly, when I made this request, I wasn’t expecting for it to be answered. After all, I hadn’t talked to Him in a week, and now I’m making requests of Him? If anything, I deserved silence. But that’s not how God operates. He doesn’t punish our neglect with further neglect. He opens His arms and answers immediately upon our return. I was the prodigal son, and He was the loving father. So He answered my prayer. He overwhelmed me with calm and love. He reminded me of what the purpose of the Lenten season is, to prepare our hearts for the saving mercy of His Son. He reminded me that He loves me so much that He would die again for me and only me. He reminded me that I am His daughter. That no amount of neglect on my part can lessen the love He has for me.
Today, I’m thankful for reminders like this, that no matter how much we might separate ourselves from the Lord, He will always take us back with open arms. I am thankful to have a Father that made me in His image and likeness, so even when I make mistakes, He sees His Son in me, and loves me well. He loves me so so well.
Maddie Zenk is a junior biomedical science major at Colorado State University. She is also a very active member of Ram Catholic. Maddie is on the Student Advisory Board, leads Bible Studies, and helps to evangelize on campus. Ram Catholic is excited to follow her journey this Lent!
“Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers His righteousness on you.” -Hosea 10:12
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